happiness

Who are you? What’s special about you?

October 5, 2010 – 11:21 am

Sometime we can lose track of who we are. Have you ever felt like that? I know I did. Sometimes it’s the difference between living and existing. When you lose track of who you are, you can feel you’ve lost your voice, wouldn’t you agree? The great news is – it doesn’t have to be this way!

Watch this short video I’ve created for you about regaining your identity, which will support you to raise your self esteem and begin to really live again. If you feel ready to make a shift; if your heart is telling you now is your time – then email me about a free consultation where we can explore how I can support you to feel more fabulous and live the life you desire.

By Ali Soleil | Posted in Videos | Tagged daring damsels, existing, feeling lost, feeling stuck, happiness, identity, living, self esteem, who am I | Comments (0)

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

October 5, 2010 – 10:25 am

Would you agree that as women, it is so easy to find ourselves busy being busy and we forget about letting go and enjoying life – making time to do the things we like to do? The things that make our heart sing and give us a spring in our step. When you value your time and choose to do something for you, let go of any negative thoughts - your self esteem rises.

Watch this video and comment or email me what you like to do ali@daringdamsels.com Looking forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you happiness

Love

Ali xx

Feminine Self Esteem Mentor

By Ali Soleil | Posted in Blog, happiness, Life Challenges, Parenting, Perfect Days, Personal Development, self esteem | Tagged being busy, fun, happiness, leisure time, letting go, me time, negative thoughts, self esteem, women | Comments (0)

How can I stop spending money?

June 19, 2010 – 8:00 am

So I get a mail bag of questions – or to be correct an inbox of emails from clients posing questions or seeking support to their challenges.

One such message a few weeks ago was from a lady who likes to spend money. Well we all do really, don’t we? Her challenge is not uncommon – so many of us are facing mounting debts with redundancies, hours cut at work and general living costs going up.

Her question was twofold – ‘Why do I do this and how can I stop myself?’ Of course everyone’s answers are personal to them. We all have the answers inside of us, we just need to be open to intuitively find and listening to them.

Why do we spend money when we don’t have to? I believe it’s down to our relationship with money. It’s either our friend or our foe. We either respect money and know it come flowing to us regularly or we disrespect it and spend it even if it’s not really there (on credit). If it’s a non essential purchase ie not to keep the roof over our head or fuel in our car – we have more of a choice about whether to spend or not.

Some of us spend to feel better – I wonder if that works in reality? It’s important to discover your spending patterns. What triggers a ‘spend’? What emotions are you feeling and thinking before you spend? It may be helpful to consider the following questions. Why do I want to make this purchase? What is my motivation for buying ie comfort, a treat, self development, boredom? Is it essential? What true benefits will it bring me and for how long?

If you want to spend to feel good, consider what emotion you will feel after you buy the… dress, chocolate bar, the seminar ticket, Starbucks treat, the magazine you may or not read – what is that emotion? Often immediately it is one of delight or joy – but if this is short lived and replaced with one of guilt, worry or disappointment then you have your answer as to buy or not to buy.

Step away from the thing, you think you want and choose to change your mind. What else could you do to bring you comfort, which would cost nothing and feel great – may be knowing you have made the choice to walk away is empowering enough? Give yourself a pat on the back!

If you want a happier life – only make purchases which you know will cause you to continue feeling happy after the purchase.

If you find yourself getting out of control with spending for pleasure, you are not alone; so many of us do this. I am helping many ladies to master their psychology around this very issue – taking them from Fed Up to Fabulous! Let me know how I can support you, I’m right here.

Ali xxx

By Ali Soleil | Posted in happiness, Life Challenges, Personal Development | Tagged choice, debts, guilt, happiness, living costs, negative emotions, pleasure, positive emotions, redundancies, spending money, stop spending | Comments (0)

Is NOW a good time to raise your self esteem ladies?

March 3, 2010 – 9:15 am

Do you have a negative feeling about yourself? Do you worry about what other people think of you? Do you spend time trying to please others? Is your love for yourself running on empty? Do you look to others to feel good? Does your happiness and security depend on others giving it to you?

If you found yourself saying yes to these questions – how long have you felt this way? Is now a good time to build your self esteem? If not NOW when?

As you know, I’m a woman’s self esteem coach. Many of my clients come to me knowing they want to change. Something may have triggered this decision and they have thought enough is enough. Sometimes they realise they need to change because they worry that they are passing on their patterns of behaviour down to their children. Some only have just realised that they are living their lives feeling ‘empty’ and thought this was ‘normal’. Some feel the way they have been brought up has affected who they have become and no longer choose to live this way, but do not know how to change. Others have had a life challenging situation such as becoming a mother, divorce, illness, a house move or a life style change has affected their self esteem in a negative way.

Whichever it is – now is a good time to focus on change, to take back control of who you are, of your life and your own opinions of what’s important to you. Wouldn’t you like to feel fabulous, deserving of good things and happy in your own skin?

Deciding to change, being committed to working on you every day is so important. We have been running our patterns of behaviour for years – some gives us a good response, some does not. Start is the key.

Contact me for an informal chat about what my coaching services can do for you – after all we are unique and no service is the same. Or choose to send me an email. I have another workshop coming up this time, next week and I would love my blog readers to come along! Here are the details:

When: Wednesday 10th March 2010 Time: 9.30am – 2.30pm

Where: Contact me for the exact location of this country hotel, just outside High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire

Investment: £32

Contact me via email ali@daringdamsels.com and visit my web site www.daringdamsels.com

By Ali Soleil | Posted in happiness, Personal Development, self esteem | Tagged change, deserving, feeling fabulous, happiness, life coaching, negative feelings, pleasing others, self esteem, self esteem coach, self love | Comments (0)

Teenage Choices

November 4, 2009 – 11:24 pm

Being a responsible parent comes with so much unknown territory – wouldn’t you agree? We don’t get taught this stuff and even if we did – every child is a unique soul, living in their own sense of reality with their own set of life choices and decisions to make. As a parent we cannot possibly know the full extent of the world our children live in. We all filter what we see, hear and feel every day differently and we do not shadow our children 24/7. We trust in what we’ve taught them and that the decisions they make will be good ones (and learn from the ones that turned out not to be so fabulous).

My girls are 16 and 17 years old, they are truly my greatest blessings in life. So when they are at a cross roads in life choosing which path to travel along – it’s easy for me to make suggestions on what I think they could/should be doing; afterall it’s called ‘being a good parent’ isn’t it?

I’m discovering how important it is for them to make their own choices without too much pressure being put upon them by me – or their father. With so much external input not only from us they can become unsure of which path to go down; they also lose a sense of identity – a conflict within, whom to please, what to do first… and maybe they want to have a complete rethink anyway. From my experience we either move towards or away from what we’re told to do. When told we will not achieve something – we may think ‘I’ll show you!’ or ‘Well I just won’t bother then’….

I remember trying to fulfil the wishes of my parents as I was growing up. Taking jobs which they thought were best for me…. but I did not enjoy them, these jobs were not fulfilling my values – I was not being true to my core. I have to remember to this.

There is a fine line between parental apathy (‘oh, let them find their own way forward – or not’), parental guidance (‘check out these opportunities, have you considered x y and z?’) and being parentally pressuring (‘get down to the careers office now, you must do this… you’ll regret it if you don’t')….

I figure with my girls – I give them all the opportunities I can, I encourage, praise and ensure they know I’m proud of them… they can live at home feeling secure and loved. It’s down to them to choice their path, I’m here to give external support and encouragement but it’s their lives and most of all – their happiness is my priority.

It’s tough being a parent sometimes!

By Ali Soleil | Posted in Parenting, Teenage development | Tagged being a good parent, encourage, happiness, life choices, opportunities, Parenting | Comments (2)

Daring Damsels Blog

happiness

Who are you? What’s special about you?

Have you remembered to make time for you? ‘Me time’

How can I stop spending money?

Is NOW a good time to raise your self esteem ladies?

Teenage Choices

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